Sunday, April 16, 2017

A Different Kind of Easter

It is 4:31pm on Easter Sunday and I am still in my pajamas.  I haven't stepped outside in two days even though these were the warmest two days we had in months.   The house is silent besides the occasional coughing I hear from upstairs as everyone else is celebrating this holy day somewhere else.  I make myself some tea in my newest thrifted English cup and munch on a days old brownie.   


The cough wakes him up and he cries for me. I go upstairs and it begins again.  

"Water!" Sips on water.  "Cough.  Cough.  Milk!  Water on THAT nightstand!  No, on THAT one!  Cough.  Water!"  Etc, etc times 5 or 10.  I feel his body getting hotter again.  He commands me to do other things and my fatigue body complies.    Today is day three of his flu, 50th hour of him attached to my hip and his sweet face in mine, and I am too tired to act differently.   Also, he is my 5th child and I am wise enough.  

I scroll through my IG feed in the moments when he dozes off to sleep and I see picture perfect families together, dressed in their Easter best.  And I sign.  Today was supposed to be different. Three days ago, I was planning a party.   But as the Good Book tells us:  


Forgive the hyperbolic comparison...

I was supposed to dress all nice and enjoy the service after which I were to fly home and welcome 60 of our closest relatives and with a smile on my face take plates of yummy food of their hands and set it pretty on my cherry blossom tables.  

And we would take pictures and we would sing worship songs and we would chat and lament
over the family that lost their young beautiful mama today...    

You see, for that 44 years old mama of eight, a different party was planned for this Easter. Her soul met the resurrected King today.   The same one she trusted and hoped would show up here on Earth and spare her of suffering.  And he showed up, but did not spare.  Today is the day she found the answer to why not? while the rest of us are left to wonder... 

Left to hope.  Left to put things in perspective (whats a flu compared to childhood cancer?) and left to trust in a bigger picture.  We are left to remember that suffering and death is part of the human experience and that it is sanctifying as much as it is suffocating...  

We are also left to love.   Love like Jesus loved.  Love like 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is engraved on our hearts and is a verb.  


Today, I am reminded that different is not bad and that not as planned is not necessarily disappointing.   

And I thank God that there is life after suffering.

P.S.   Oh, and here are some pictures baby niece, a rainbow baby, who made it into this world a few weeks prior and breathed new life into her long awaited parents and melted the heart of all those that knew their story.  Love you, Eva 💕.

Friday, January 13, 2017

The Longest Holiday

As I write this, I am procrastinating on whole bunch of home and business projects that are calling my name.  You see, the past several weeks (or has it been a month now?) have been pretty laid back around here and I think I am getting used to this type of life.  It started with three snow days in December extending our Winter Break to almost 3 weeks.

We got back from the break only to be sent home for more snow days totaling eight days as of today and who knows how many more.     NOBODY predicted it to be the biggest storm in decades with snow reaching a foot and even 15 inches in some places.

Needless to say these snow days have allowed for a lot of hours spent indoors lounging as well as outside playing.

 Because we live on a hill, sledding has been the most popular activity.


Did you know that boogie boards make the best sled?  We neither!   Snowboards were also attempted...but not enjoyed as much.

As we oohed and awed at the snow in the previous weeks, this snowstorm, with today's sunshine has created a sight fit for fairy tales.   Its chilly, yes, but there is zero wind and the sun actually warms your face.

If you are outside you want to stay...

and if you are inside you don't want to take your eyes off your window.

I chuckled as I walked passed the houses on our street and the street perpendicular.  People from every other house were outside either shoveling or playing with their kids.  A sight not usually seen.

I was finally able to see the faces of people who live in our neighborhood and even chatted with some. To my embarrassment, I found out that a neighbor three houses up had a baby.  Ten months ago.  And another has a kid similar age as Phillip who is kind and articulate.

Its not the first time that a snowstorm has introduced us to our neighbors.   Eight years ago, during our last major snowstorm, I wrote about that event here.     I don't know what it is about our neighborhood that has its lacking a sense of community.   We have been here 10 years this winter and it has always been this way.    It is because of the hills and lack of front yard space/porches?  Or that we are all mostly middle (striving for upper middle) class households that work many hours and don't have time to chit chat and connect?  

About eight years ago though... I started my blog when I was on maternity leave with this guy

looking exactly like this

Goodness gracious...😍

Sleepless nights were getting the most of my brain and I needed some way to prevent my neurons from getting completely fried.   So I started this blog and started typing away.  For the first year that is...  But 100 posts!  Thats one every three days with three kids 5 and under and a part time job and a Master's program!  How in the world?   This fixed itself though with later years averaging 3-9 posts a YEAR.  Ahem.

But I digress.   Snow.   Days off from work, school, sporting events, homework, chauffeuring.   Almost feels like getting off the hamster wheel for a bit and for the first time in ever...slowing down.  
Because when it snows, one really got no place to go...

These snow days come at a price.  It is almost certain that we will have to make them up in June. 
This means having the hardest month to teach/go to school go to almost July.  

I hope though that when June is here and we are crawling towards the year end, this post will serve as a reminder of the longest holiday we got blessed with this year and hope that it repeats come next Winter.