Saturday, May 30, 2009

One of Those Days

Have you ever had a day where things turn out bad in whatever it is you did? When you quarrel with your mate because of a stupid thing and your casserole turns out too lumpy and looking at your accounts makes you nauseous and your mortgage company sends you a note rejecting your plea? Maybe not. But if you do, I hope you have someone to blame all those things on besides yourself. Because it really sucks to realize that your crappy mood is a result of some stupid action done by YOU and you have no one but YOU to blame for it all. Its kind of like hitting your toe on the door trim. It hurts bad, and yet you have no one to yell at to make you feel better.

No one is going to bail us out and no one should. People need to make mistakes, suffer consequences so that they rise up wiser and stronger. I know that there are people who would trade places with us in a heartbeat and that these temporary hardships will be over soon. I also know that we are blessed beyond measure with health, beautiful family, and much more. And yet, it is really hard not to feel down and it is even harder not showing it. I really suck at hiding my feelings, putting on a joyful face and pretending like everything is cool. Thank God for my husband who is genuinely great at it. I don't know how, but he always manages to put a smile on my face. By looking at him, I know things will be alright. But for now, I feel like curling up in a fetal position and getting some rest.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

To Act or To Wait...That Is the Question

I am currently facing a bit of a dilemma. Well, I am facing a few dilemmas but I won't bore you with their details. The problem I need to vent to the Internet( yes, I know I am flattering myself when I call you three--Internet) has to do with the possibility of changing my role from an almost stay at home mom to a mom who works full time and comes home to make supper. I always knew I would become that kind of mom, but I didn't plan on becoming one next school year. That is until a few days ago.

When I was visiting my new school, which by the way seems awesome, I learned that the teacher with whom I will be job sharing is taking a leave of absence for 3 months to a maybe a year. This means that I would be job sharing with a substitute who might not have a clue. So, analyzing our current business situation (our main source of income)and our bank accounts, I am leaning toward applying for the second half of this temporary position. I don't know if I would get it for sure, but the possibility is very likely. The thought of my kids being with a stranger all day everyday is terrifying. We've been blessed this year with my mom-in-law coming to our house to watch our little ones. I don't know if she would want to take on the endeavor of watching them full-time. This woman raised 17 children and to say that she deserves to rest would be an understatement.

The thought of my husband being with my kids all day every day does not seem bad at all, to me that is. You see, knowing my husband who takes pride in providing for his family through his hard work, I don't think he will be happy being a stay at home dad. Not because he doesn't love our kids, but because he is a descendant of Adam whom God told,

"By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground."

One who was made to provide and protect just can't get a way from this.

Another reason why I am having a hard time deciding is because his business might pick right up again and then our kids will not be raised by their parents which is an awful thing, I believe. I am contemplating whether or not to take things in our hands or wait until God answers our prayers. This kind of deliberation with oneself happens often in life. How much does God expect us to do before he reaches out? We surely can't just not do anything and wait, or are there times in life when God wants us to humble ourselves, make peace with him and do just that... wait?

Humbling myself and making peace with God seems like what I need to do now irregardless of what he is planning on doing with us. Besides, that's way better than having a sweaty face.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

On Being Naughty

I was being naughty today and showed a video to my class that included this as part of the dialogue.

A Talking Parrot:
Tarzan, stop it. You behave yourself. "

An interviewer reading from a parrot expert's book: "What if it learns your lovemaking cries and repeats it when your mother-in-law visits?"

Before you roll your eyes on me, I have to tell you that this video came with the ELL books we adopted last year. Apparently, nobody took the time to watch the videos or read the book or check all of the supported material before they adopted it because every unit so far has had material that is in someway or other inappropriate for teenagers.

Maybe they were hoping Advanced level ESL students would not pick up on such nuisances.

I know I was.

I had to play this short video about 5 times in each class for a worksheet that came with this video and every time this part came about, I stunted very low, shrug my shoulders and made a constipated face. If I didn't hear a loud "Ha, Ha, Ha!" i took a deep breath. To my surprise only one girl who laughed out loud GOT it and everybody else were either too pure and innocent or lacked the English skills to get the reference.

I want to believe its the first reason, but would be flattering myself if it was.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

An Act of Deprivation

With all the apocalyptic talk, the babe has his own issues to worry about. Daddy has finally had enough with warming up 3 bottles and changing several diapers a night that he's been training Tim to get through the night without eating. My man has some patience, I tell you. It is rare that one finds her self a man who is willing to patiently rub his baby's back and sing lullabies for a whole hour during the middle of the night all while listening to the loud screaming cry. Because I don't have a spine, I am banned to a different room and with an aching heart lie there and listen to my babies cries for food and pray for his sleep. The babe must have heard us discuss different ways to stack up on food for the hard times ahead because we caught him doing this before bed time yesterday:

Without the extra calories from nightly feeding his mama is worried that his fine figure will be slimmed down so she took these pics to keep as a memory from the days of the round the clock nourishment.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Because I Am That Clever

I learned a new trick today and decided to share with y'all.

If ever you get up from a seat and be advised by a student that you have a bright blue gum stuck to your hot pink skirt, you may:

1) Panic
2) Imagine how much fun your already disrespectful students will have laughing at the fact that you have a piece of gum stuck to your (forgive the language) butt.
3) Rush to the bathroom and try to unsuccessfully take/wash out the gum.
4) Consider running to the store to buy a new skirt during the 5 minute passing time.

5) Thank heavens the skirt is loose on you and turn it so the gum goo is on the side of the skirt as oppose to the back of the skirt and wallah!

They might think you are a pig but the back of your skirt is now clean!

Now, remember this trick and DON'T think that this will NEVER happen to you.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

21 Up Born In the USSR

Finally!!! I can hardly hide my excitement! I've been waiting for this film to come out ever since I saw it at Lewis and Clark a few years ago. The director (who came to L & C for the premier) and his crew have been filming a group of young kids ever since they were 7 years old. They hunted them down when they were 14 years of age and now for this film, when they are 21. I was intrigued by their stories not only because I share the same age as the stars of this film, but also because I too, was born in the country (USSR) that does not exist anymore and often wonder what my life would have been like if my family never immigrated to the U.S. Heather, Tanya, Karina, Vera, and all of my other Russian readers or readers who are interested in anything Russian, I know you will enjoy this.

Part 1

Watch Born in the USSR: 21 Up [Part 1] in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at

Part 2

Watch Born in the USSR: 21 Up [Part 2] in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at

Part 3

Watch Born in the USSR: 21 Up [Part 3] in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at

Monday, May 4, 2009

At The Mercy of My Offspring

Today completes day 9 of my baby's sickness. He started off with croup which then led to a mysterious infection that made him feverish the last few days. He was as hot as fire today the entire day even with Tylenol in his system. I finally put aside my antibiotic bias and gave him a doze of the pink stuff. So, I am holding myself back from making this a "feel sorry for me" post and will NOT tell you that my sleep has been interrupted at least 10 times each of the 9 nights and will NOT tell you how exhausted I am because of it and surely you WON'T want to hear that I am missing my memory again. Badly. I WON'T tell you those things because you've heard them all from me before and even me is getting tired of listening to me whine.

But I will tell you that today I did have a chance to meditate for a few hours (and read a whole bunch of blogs) while holding my baby as he napped. Mean moms, don't even go there. I know what you are thinking and no, I couldn't put him down because see paragraph one.

So with my hands tied up, as I was watching his heavy breathing and stroking through his shiny brown hair for hours I had a revelation. I understood how little control we have over our kids and how much control they have over us, their parents when they are sick. All these (whole 5) years I thought WE ruled their lives. It turns out that I was in great denial! It is my kids that decide if I am going to make dinner with numerous ingredients or opt to roast a whole chicken. It is them that are in charge of the clean/dirty state of my house. It is by watching them that I make a decision to leave the house or stick around at home. They are ultimately responsible for the amount of energy we have to allocate to 'just for us time' in the evening. Whether I stay home or go to church on Sunday also largely depends on them.

When a kid gets sick, everything and everyone else in the family is put on the back burner. Nothing seems as important as attending to the needs of that one little human. All plans fall apart and your further actions are determined solely by that child.

Today, I read a whole bunch of blogs by moms who as you are reading this are making homemade organic yogurt, butter and other goodies and I signed. I didn't even make it to the grocery store to buy these things today. Maybe I am a slacker, or maybe I need to get a grip. Or maybe I need to be just where I am now, holding my sick baby as long as he wants me to and make homemade yogurt when he is actually feeling up to eating some.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

And Others Save With Fear...

My kids spent the night at my parents' house last night. We LOVE grandma and grandpa for generously opening their house with much enthusiasm and love for my angels doing so weekend after weekend. Today, my mom ear dropped on my kids' conversation and recapped it for me.

Nicolas appeared in the living room with gum in his mouth.

Abby: Where did you get this gum?

Nicolas: Over there, in that box (pointing to Abby's box of gum).

Abby with eyes open wide as if shocked: You STOLE it? You MUST ask God for forgiveness or you will go to HELL!

Nicolas points his index finger up and says: I'll ask when I get there.

Abby: You must ask now or you will go to hell. Repeat after me. Please forgive...
Nicolas: Please forgive... God...
Nicolas: me God...
Abby accenting: for STEALING gum.
Nicolas: for stealing gum.

Forgiveness acquired.

It is funny to me a five and an almost three year old can have a conversation like that. I found spirituality, eternal life, and existence and presence of God some of the hardest things to explain to little kids. The answer to the question "where do babies come from?" does not come close in comparison to any of the questions kids asked me about God. But it sure warms my heart to know that they are applying some of the things we teach them in their own little, funny ways.