Thursday, May 21, 2009
To Act or To Wait...That Is the Question
I am currently facing a bit of a dilemma. Well, I am facing a few dilemmas but I won't bore you with their details. The problem I need to vent to the Internet( yes, I know I am flattering myself when I call you three--Internet) has to do with the possibility of changing my role from an almost stay at home mom to a mom who works full time and comes home to make supper. I always knew I would become that kind of mom, but I didn't plan on becoming one next school year. That is until a few days ago.
When I was visiting my new school, which by the way seems awesome, I learned that the teacher with whom I will be job sharing is taking a leave of absence for 3 months to a maybe a year. This means that I would be job sharing with a substitute who might not have a clue. So, analyzing our current business situation (our main source of income)and our bank accounts, I am leaning toward applying for the second half of this temporary position. I don't know if I would get it for sure, but the possibility is very likely. The thought of my kids being with a stranger all day everyday is terrifying. We've been blessed this year with my mom-in-law coming to our house to watch our little ones. I don't know if she would want to take on the endeavor of watching them full-time. This woman raised 17 children and to say that she deserves to rest would be an understatement.
The thought of my husband being with my kids all day every day does not seem bad at all, to me that is. You see, knowing my husband who takes pride in providing for his family through his hard work, I don't think he will be happy being a stay at home dad. Not because he doesn't love our kids, but because he is a descendant of Adam whom God told,
"By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground."
One who was made to provide and protect just can't get a way from this.
Another reason why I am having a hard time deciding is because his business might pick right up again and then our kids will not be raised by their parents which is an awful thing, I believe. I am contemplating whether or not to take things in our hands or wait until God answers our prayers. This kind of deliberation with oneself happens often in life. How much does God expect us to do before he reaches out? We surely can't just not do anything and wait, or are there times in life when God wants us to humble ourselves, make peace with him and do just that... wait?
Humbling myself and making peace with God seems like what I need to do now irregardless of what he is planning on doing with us. Besides, that's way better than having a sweaty face.