Over the last two weeks I've had a rollercoaster of emotions. It began when we suddenly realized that we can no longer afford our
Now, I have to be honest that I have always believed that it is individual's responsiblity to get him/her self out of the mess that they have created. Personal accountability is high on my list. So what I was seeking that morning was wisdom and peace to come from my God whom I know not to be the Santa Clause he is often perceived to be, but a loving father that sometimes lets his children fail.
So, as I was praying with tears coming down my face and worship music in the background, I was seeking direction. And by the time the worship was over, I am happy to report that I got what I really needed. Peace. No, God did not engage in my business endeavors. But he spoke to my heart saying that I already have soooo much and a house is so insignificant in comparison. He reminded me that I have healthy, loving, smart, beautiful children. He reminded me that I have supportive, generous, talented, loving, caring, husband without whom I cannot imagine my life. I was raised in a two parent family with parents who instilled so many great values in me and have supported me through education and who love my children enough to spoil them crazy. I have my sister who is my second (to my husband) best friend. All of my needs are met. And. it. doesn't. matter. what happens to the pieces of lumber that hold the roof. Period.
So we are starting our walk one direction at a time and if all of the roads come to a dead end, then we'll be packing our bags. If/When that takes place, I want to remember that day when panic turned to peace and feelings turned to reason and future contemplations were replaced with treasuring the present.
I want to internalize this and have it be the way of life and not merely an emotional spur.