Saturday, June 12, 2010
I have noticed that lately, past year to be exact, I have been lucky enough to have encounters with DA whales. I have documented my encounters and my awkward behavior around them here and here. Just recently I found out that I am to LIVE next to one. People, my next door neighbor is a brand new superintendent of a district that I am a little too familiar with. Today, I got a chance to meet him. Actually, I don't know if "meeting" is a proper term. The encounter was an unplanned one which is why instead of saying "Hello" or "Welcome" or "My name is..." when I was on my deck and he was on his, I simply waved. My kids were playing on the deck and when I walked out I heard my son answering something to our new neighbor in his broken English that he was making a boat out of cotton swabs.
Maybe if I didn't know his current rank, I would be more relaxed about conversing with him. After all, we are talking about a pretty big person who gets to make difficult decisions and makes pretty money. As a neighbor, I want to make a good impression on him. I want him to think that he is not living next to knuckleheads or parents of ill-mannered children who love to scream "Mommy" out of the top of their lungs when they need something and engage in potty humor out loud. I surely don't want him to think I am a bad mom when I increase the volume in my voice and scold them for being children or when I dress them in unmatched outfits. And I don't not want him to get annoyed by hearing all that Russian we use and may appear like we are talking rough. Oh yes, and I hope it doesn't offend him that the fire pit that we like to light up during the summer evenings and have long conversations around does have smoke that goes up and we believe might reach his windows some.
Welcome to the life in the suburbs, big fish, where one neighbor gets the perfect view of what his neighbor is doing and not doing in his back yard. If I were you, I would get a place somewhere far from here where no one can snitch on you and where you don't get the pleasure of hearing tantrums or looking at your out of shape neighbor in a two piece tanning. Because as it stands right now, summer has finally arrived here and we, little krill will be eating, drawing, playing with water, and occasionally yelling in our back yard. For that, we apologize ahead of time and hope that it won't be an obstacle for the mother of the pack to get a job at your job.