Monday, October 4, 2010

What Needs to Happen

As of lately, I find myself daydreaming about what life will be like when I am all done with school.  I first entered college in 1999 when I graduated high school.  I began wanting to become an accountant.  I loved math and thought a job in a cubicle where I would hump over a pile of paperwork doing computations of sort will suit me just fine.  After taking a few business and accounting classes I realized that this job is so not for me.   For the first time in a long time I felt stupid!  Though I passed the classes with good grades,  the elderly accounting tutor became my best friend for those six months.  I found the tasks of accountant incredibly tedious with no room for error.  Being an second language learner  I was not used to the idea of "no errors allowed". 

As I was taking those classes, I was also working at the high school I graduated from.  I was tutoring ESL students and found that I loved helping them and seeing how they learned from me.   As I kid, I always wanted to be a teacher.  But the prospects of going to school for YEARS only to become jobless did not appeal to me.  People, just in case you don't know this: getting a teaching job is quite difficult especially these days when districts are cutting teaching jobs everywhere.  As a student teacher in our district expressed last year finding a teaching job is like winning the lottery these days.

Anyway, because I was starting to hate accounting and love teaching, I decided to give it a shot. 
Fast forward to almost the end of 2010, I still love teaching. But,  I have been in school for 8 years (part time) not counting the 3 year break I took after I got my bachelors and a teaching degree!  I almost forgot what life was like when I was not in school.  Now that I have one more term left after I complete this one, it is time to start imagining the completion of this big task of mine.

What needs to happen when I am done is this: me paying more attention to the people I care about.  This means my husband, my kids, my husband's and my immediate and extended families.  This means reconnecting with my friends and remembering birthdays and cards (Vera, you're my inspiration for this one!).  This means paying more attention to the families in church who are in need.  I want to be there for my nieces' sport activities and remember to call and send gift packages to my family in Russia.  I want to host more dinner parties and be available to attend others'. 

All of these things I want to be able to do, God willing beginning next summer.  Too much time has been spent on bettering MYself and taking care of my needs.  It seems selfish.  A former student of mine once asked me whether I want to be remembered for my accomplishments or my character.  I answered, "My character" even though I was currently very busy working on my accomplishments.

What needs to happen is me living up to the answer I gave her and the silent promise I gave to myself.

1 comment:

  1. A teaching degree is in your grasp though and being bilingual is especially a good guarantee that you will be in need in a few specific communities, take heart. Your teaching has only begun, and believe it or not, this experience will make you an even better mom. :o) hang in there Zhenya.