Thursday, December 25, 2008

If You Procrastinate Christmas Preparations or The Most Bizarre Christmas Eve

If you procrastinate preparing for Christmas and think you can do last minute shopping for everything you might:
  • be snowed-in by the snowcalypse and would not be able to get out of the house for two weeks
  • have a neighbor stop by and ask you if you are starving because she is on her way to the store and could get us food. We humbly asked for a gallon of milk.
  • be so busy preparing for the last minute everything to turn around to kids who have done some face painting with permanent markers just in time for Christmas pictures. This is what they looked like after some aggressive washing
  • not be able to go shopping for ANY presents
  • look for some unused gift cards you were given to give to others
  • have a Christmas tree that looks like this on Christmas Eve
  • Use a Happy Birthday bag for the only real gift you do have

  • be blessed with parents who shopped for gifts for you from your kids preventing all sorts of negative noise

  • give pictures of the gifts because the gift did not arrive in time

  • use a candle from the guestroom as the Christmas centerpiece

  • have orange flavored water for the drink instead of a sparkling cider

  • miss your overdue hair stylist, nail professional, and waxing specialist appointments and look.....well, beautiful?

  • forget to check how long it takes to make a turkey and have your guests wait 3 hours to begin eating dinner at 10pm

Don't see the turkey? It is because it is still in the oven as I type this. It is 11:58pm. My dad could not wait any longer

Drum roll, please............................................................After 7 hours and 10 minutes, here is my sister Julia's first turkey!

You think we could have taken it out earlier? We do too. Here is Julia with her very supportive husband

If you forgo all the Christmas preparations, you might have the time of your life and remember what Christmas is really about. Though next year, I'll start preparing for Christmas in July.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!


  1. OK this is my FAVORITE post of ALL time. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it and it made me laugh until my sides hurt. I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing at the crazy series of events that lead up to your Christmas.

    One thing I am laughing at is that turkey.......HYSTERICAL. It reminds me of Griswald Family Christmas turkey. This has made my evening.

    I remeber being so nervous cooking my first turkey. It's like it's the Holy Grail of cooking and it proves you are a person. If you can cook a turkey well then you have earned your place on this planet.

    Thank You for sharing your Christmas with us all. I would have been more then happy to be a guest at your Christmas Dinner.


  2. Great post, Zhenya! Very funny!

  3. And the sad/best about it all was, Tina, that I didn't make a single thing up. I am yet to earn my place on this planet, as I have never prepared a turkey from start to finish all by myself. Maybe next year, I'll make one sometime in June.

  4. I like it :)

    It ended up being the best Christmas ever...did my present come yet?:)

  5. Oh, you poor thing (not really). ;-)
    Did you use a blowtorch on that turkey? lol