A Letter to Our Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

I am writing this letter to both apologize and explain something to you. You have seen something through your blind less windows today you did not expect to see at such ungodly hour. I know you are dying to know what exactly is wrong with the neighbors you've never met. If you couldn't see who/what was making loud noises as it was dark outside, let me clarify. Five males. Wearing nothing but underwear. Jumping and rolling in the snow. You thought you saw this didn't you, but weren't sure. Please understand that we are not crazy nor suicidal. We are Russian. On occasion, Russians like to use banya aka Finish Sauna. Still confused? Basically its a little wooden shack that has a stove that produces enormous amounts of heat where you go to get sweaty and get whipped with birch branches (venik). You don't see it? We do have it, its in our basement.




No, it is not as bad as it sounds/looks. Believe it or not we think its good for us. After you are done with that procedure, you may want to go outside and jump in the snow or an icy pool.




See, we are not the only ones who are crazy. Other people do it too. As for the loud noises we apologize for those, but you would scream louder if you did what they did today. And we would understand. So, if you are still curious and want to add a few years to your life, stop by. We'll be happy to expose you to this temperature variation. If you are still annoyed, get some blinds and pray for warmer weather.

Sincerely,


Your Russian neighbors